Well it was the birthday of nephew 4 the other day. Always nice to get the family gathered for occasions like this, especially for him.
I arrive at 5pm with our kids, get in the house and after a minute I ask the question “so, where is he?” The reply from the sister in law is “he isn’t back from school yet.” Ummm, it’s a long day for him I thought. So we sit down and chat like families do, memories flowing of the antics of what the boys have been upto over the years are with all. However somewhere in our collective grey matter the fact that birthday boy was starved of oxygen (which is the probable cause of his learning disability) when he was born and the fact that he may not be able to ever live independently is with us. We hardly talk about it and to be fair, it hardly pops into our thoughts but occasionally it does
So let’s park the Ronaldo’s, Tom Brady’s and Tyson Fury’s of the world, this little guys a hero to me.
So finally the mini bus from his special educational school drops him off, he trundles up the path, through the front door and into the full living room to delightful cries of “Happy Birthday, Yeeeaaahh’
Then he does what he simply does but for some reason today with a touch of class. He manages to tackle the temptation of swearing, he intercepts the rashness of lashing out and he dodges the blows of tears and frustration. What he does, is simply look at us all, keep it together, say nothing and walk straight back out…..like I say class!
As any autistic (Yeap, he is autistic as well) person or parent knows, this is way to much for nephew number 4. By deciding to take himself away from this situation and having ten minutes to switch off (he actually needed longer), he managed to somehow get himself together, come back downstairs, open up his presents and say hi to everyone. He lasted around 20 minutes before taking himself back to his sanctuary of peace and quiet. It may seem nothing to most people and maybe even rude to others but the simple fact that he remained polite and composed was quality and we all knew it.
He was confirmed with autism a couple of years ago but we have known from a very early age. The meltdowns, the silence, the quirks, it was all there and then mainstream education! (I think blogpost 4 will cover this,) It has been one hell of a rollercoaster especially for nephew 4’s parents who have done an amazing job and are continuing to do so.
Thank you for reading the post, I guess it’s all there on the internet if you suspect your child may have autism (I will really go into the subject as the blog develops) but this goes for any kid, just remember that they may have had a difficult day at school and as they can’t express themselves then sometimes they can literally explode like opening a bottle of shook up fizzy pop. Sometimes they may need time to chill, then you can talk.
My next blogpost (3) will cover the relationship between my son number 3 and this guy (nephew 4)
BeingDad 